When My Brain Works
by Just Call Me Lenore
Summary: One day Johnny has a bit too much caffiene, and do you know what happens when Nny goes crazy? Well, it's MADNESS!!!!!!
1. Start Of The Insanity

When My Mind Works  
  
A/N: Howdy everyone! This is my first Johnny story! Yay! Soo, here it is! This is what happens when Nny has too much caffeine!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. And I don't own anything Johnny makes fun of.  
  
Chapter 1 Beginning of the End  
  
Another boring day for Johnny C. He had slaughtered about 11 people and there was still a great feeling of boredom about. Nny had tried to rid himself of the boredom in many ways, including drawing Hnb and shooting darts at one of the people locked in his basement. But he was still bored. So he decided to go to the store. Nny returned to #777 with a 10 pack of Cherry Fiz Wiz, and a determination to drink it all at once. He DID actually chug all 10 cans of the Fiz Wiz, and that was a VERY bad idea. You see kids, Fiz Wiz is very high in caffeine, (I've had the stuff before and I went nuts) and 10 cans is too much for Nny's small structure. This is where the doom starts.  
  
Nny lay on his floor, empty soda cans all around him, and Reverend Meat watching from a shelf. His mind was slipping, and his hands were starting to shake. He was beginning to think some mildly obscene things, which made him laugh.  
  
Nny: "Hee! Snort. Giggle giggle!"  
  
Meat looks over at Nny Meat: "What's soo funny Nny?"  
  
Nny: "You know, I was just thinking, how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose? It's so strange! Haahaaa!!"  
  
Meat looks at Nny bewilderedly. Meat: "Are you feeling well?"  
  
Nny: "I'm as fine as a sack of potato skins!! Wheee!" Nny jumps up and starts dancing around the room singing  
  
Nny: "Fa la la la la, la la la la!! Ooh deyyy oh I say dey oh! Daylight come and me want to go hoooome!!! Oh wait! I IS home! Silly me!!"  
  
Meat floats out of room, scared. (Yes Meat is scared, weird huh?)  
  
Nny jumps onto his coffee table and starts break dancing. He finishes by jumping up and doing a Michael Jackson impersonation, you know, grabbing his crotch and screaming "OWW!" in a girly voice.  
  
Nny: "I must NOT regurgitate the peas!!! To the bat mobile!!"  
  
Nny runs out of the room and down to his basement where he starts screaming nonsense at his victims.  
  
Nny: "YOU! FLIMSY SMOOSHER MAN! FEEL MY FEET!"  
  
And he said other stuff, but I'm not taking up a bunch of space to write it all. Nny ran upstairs again to his fridge, and guess what he found in it? More Fiz Wiz! So he drank it. And got even more hyper. This is where things start getting reealy weird.  
  
Nny ran into his living room and sat down on the couch, wide eyed and drooling on himself. His eye twitched.  
  
Nny: "Squeely FEET!"  
  
He blinked and noticed the doughboys nailed to his wall. He smiled one of his evil smiles and leaped up, running over to them.  
  
Nny: "Soo what we have here? Mr. Fork!!" He pulled the knife out of Eff and hugged him.  
  
Nny: "And Mrs. Pie!! How are you my dear?!" He pulled D-boy out of the wall.  
  
Nny held a doughboy in each hand and gave them voices. Eff, or 'Mr. Fork', had a low voice, while D-boy, 'Mrs. Pie' had a high squeaky voice. He made them talk to each other, and then he did something the doughboys would have killed him for if they were alive.  
  
Nny:: as Eff:: "I love you dear!" Nny:: as D-boy:: "I love you too honey!!"  
  
He then smashed their faces together as if they were kissing. Nny: "Aww kissy kissy!"  
  
Nny just lost interest with that in 2 seconds and dropped the doughboys to the floor. He walked over to the phone and picked it up. There was a dial tone.  
  
Nny: "Don't mock me, you.you. meeeeeeeep!!" He was trying to mock the phone.  
  
Nny: "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!" He started pressing in a random number. The phone rang, and someone answered on the other line.  
  
Person: "Hello?"  
  
Nny: "Hello Main Won Chinese Chicken how may I help youu?"  
  
Person: "Excuse me? I didn't call for Chinese."  
  
Nny: "Excuses!! So what'll it be Mack?"  
  
Person: "I'm going to hang up on you! Who is this?!"  
  
Nny: "I'm a food!!! I eat person!!"  
  
Person: "Wait, Johnny?! Is that you?!"  
  
Nny: "HII! That be me name, don't wear it!! OUT!"  
  
Person: "It IS you! Nny, are you ok? It's Devi."  
  
Nny: "Wheeedle pooooop!!! I smell your ass!!! HAH!"  
  
Devi: "O.k. hey Nny, I wanted to talk to you. Is that ok? Um.about that time when we went out-"  
  
Nny: "Accusations!! I never ate that shitting dog!! But it faaarted!"  
  
Devi: "Johnny! I'm trying to tell you I want to get back with you!"  
  
Nny: "Hey guess what?"  
  
Devi: ".What?"  
  
Nny: "I think I made a poopy in my pants! It smells good!"  
  
Devi: ".0_o; .Ok that's it you fucking lunatic, I'm not talking to you again!!"  
  
*click*  
  
Nny: ".Meep!"  
  
After that incident, Nny ran around his house for another 20 minutes acting similarly to Happy Noodle Boy on crack. Then he picked up his digital clock which read 4:15 P.M. and threw it across the room. It shattered on the wall and he squealed in delight. Then, he ran outside and down the street. He was going to spread his insanity. Oh no!  
  
-----End Chapter 1-----  
  
Please review!! I'm gonna write C-2 as soon as I can!! Expect some celebrity appearances!! And to my 'friend' Melissa: Hey guess what? BILLY! And Spice is lookin' at me! Make her stop Eddy! And Victoria is smelly like cheese. 


	2. When The Town Met Johnny

When My Mind Works  
  
A/N:Ok, you asked for it, so here's chapt. 2!! I can't believe people actually reviewed!! Thanky soo much! Well, here it is! I'm trying to figure out html code-things, so I hope they work. Anyways, in this chapter Nny spreads more insanity and there's a couple celebrity appearances!  
  
Disclaimer: Same as last time, I don't own anyone from Jthm, anything Nny makes fun of, or the celebrities in this.  
  
Chapter 2  
When The Town Met Johnny (shitty title, huh?)  
  
Johnny ran down the street, screaming nonsense at no one in particular. He leaped over a garbage can that laid in the middle of the sidewalk and then turned around and lifted it over his head. He jumped in the middle of the street and a car had to stop in front of him until he moved. Nny climbed onto the car, still holding the can, and started yelling at the driver.  
  
Nny:: "You DARE mock me?! Why I am a happy cucumber and you smelled the sack of bladder waste!!!! ARRGGHHH!! I anoint you with salad!!!"  
  
He then proceeded to dump the garbage on the car, and then jumped off, running down the street, screaming.  
  
Nny:: "LA LA LAA!! WHY IS THAT DOG NAKED?! GET SOME PINATAS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!"  
  
Man in car:: "What is this town going to?"  
  
Nny:: turns around and looks at the man in the car:: "WHAT?! YOU DEFY THE POTATO?! AIEEEE!"  
  
Nny pulled out a knife and went over, mutilating the man. He left the car and the bloody ripped apart guy in the middle of the road and skipped away, towards the main part of town.  
  
Nny:: singing:: "TRA LA LA LA DO DEE DA DUM!!"  
  
When he arrived in town, Nny ran into a random store and started ranting nonsense, just like a real live Happy Noodle Boy. Some people left the store in a hurry, while others just sat and watched in wide-eyed horror.  
  
Nny:: " As I said, NEVER trust a celery stalk you don't comprehend! You must leave that corny cactus IN your ear, you foul-smelling bread fiend!!"  
  
Some guy:: walks over to Nny:: "Shut up you freak! What are you on?!"  
  
Nny:: suddenly angry:: "AH! Gasp! You defy my Fiz Wiz?! Take this, stalker of the pie!!"  
  
Pan camera to show outside of store. Loud screaming can be heard. Lots of screaming. Back to inside of the store. Nny is sitting on a checkout table holding a bloody coat hanger and one of his many knifes, laughing maniacally.   
  
Nny:: "BWAH HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!! *coughs* Where was I? Oh yeah, HAAAHAAA HEH HOOO HAH!! Ok I am soo bored with this! Like totally!"  
  
He dropped the coat hanger and dashed out of the store and across the street to a small restaurant called St. Charles Café (A/N: just a small insider joke). He sat down at a booth and started pouring salt and pepper on the table. A waiter walked up and looked at Johnny, frowning. He was some young high school kid and he seemed to be one of those popular snobby types who tried to act all black with one of those accents.  
  
Waiter:: "Yo, knock it off, ya freak."  
  
Nny:: laughs::  
  
Waiter:: "Hear me yo foo? Knock it off 'fore I call da manager!"  
  
Nny:: grabs ketchup packets and squirts then on the kid::  
  
Waiter:: "What up with you? You gettin' all WACKY on me! I'm gettin' da manager an' he gon' kick yo ass outta here!!"  
  
Nny:: "WHAT DID YOUU SAY?!?!?! WACKY?! THAT WORD!! NOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Nny:: disembowels waiter with spork::  
  
After that, Johnny walked over to the bar area and sat on one of those bar stools. He was spinning it and he spun it so fast that he fell off and almost threw up on the floor. Someone walked over to him and pulled him up and sat him back on a stool.  
  
Girl:: "Are you ok?"  
  
Nny turned to look at her, he didn't recognize her but it was Tess, the girl who got away from his house when the wall monster escaped. She recognized him, and kind of backed away slowly, but after she realized he was too messed up she just stood there.  
  
Nny:: looking at Tess:: "Well hi-dee-ho kiddies!! It's time for the Jerry Springer Show!! Yaaay!!"  
  
Tess:: "...uh..."  
  
Nny:: "Meeep! Lookie at the pretty moose mom!"  
  
Tess:: walks away scared::  
  
Nny:: Eye twitches:: "Hey everyone!! Look! It's Avril Lavigne!!"  
  
Avril:: "Walks in:: "Hi people!! What's up?"  
  
Everyone:: runs out of restaurant cause Nny is scaring them::  
  
Avril:: "Oh well, hey you!" ::points at Johnny:: "Will you sing with me?"  
  
Nny and Avril:: jump onto bar table singing:: "Why'd you hafta go and get so constipated? I see the way you're trying to push it out, it looks so frustrating!"  
  
Nny and Avril continue singing a parody of 'Complicated' till the song is over, then Avril shakes Johnny's hand and hops away to a concert, or something. Nny was starting to become less hyper, but he decided to still have some more fun. He skipped out of the café and headed back towards his house. He was singing slightly and still happy, so say the least. As he arrived home, he found a limo parked in his driveway.  
  
Nny:: "WOW! VISITORS!! YIPEEE!"   
  
He screeched and ran into the house. On his couch sat the Osbournes. Ozzy looked up at Johnny and blinked.  
  
Ozzy:: "Who the hell are you?"  
  
Kelly:: "Um, dad, I think he lives here."  
  
Jack:: "Shut up Kelly! Do you always have to be all...smart?"  
  
Sharon:: "Children! Stop fighting! Hello, sir. Do you live here?"  
  
Sharon stood and walked over to Nny. His eye twitched and he started bobbing his head and she laughed. The rest of the Osbournes rose and stood with Sharon ad Nny started to talk.  
  
Nny:: "Howdy! I be Johnny, but I call me Nny, and, um... STUFF!"  
  
Sharon:: "Well, 'Nny', we had to stop here because our limo got a flat tire, but we thank you for letting us stay here, it's fixed now so we'll be on our way."  
  
Ozzy:: "Hey. I--I. Your hair, I like the hair-thing."  
  
Jack:: "I'm gonna get my hair done like that, shave it all except for two strands!"  
  
Kelly:: "Jack, you're such a fucking retard!"  
  
The Osbournes left Nny's house, with Jack and Kelly still fighting. Nny sat on his couch, still hyper and confused. He decided to watch TV, until he passed out and fell onto the floor. He lay passed out for quite a while, Meat had returned to his shelf to wait for Nny to wake up. The next day, Johnny awoke, with a major headache.  
  
Nny:: "What the fuck?! Oww.... my head!"  
A/N:Ok, that was very long but oh well! Chapter 2 is done! I may write a small end-type chapter 3, I don't know, I think I'm going to start another Jthm story, it's gonna be cool. Anyways, please review, and uh, MELISSA YOU BETTER REVIEW THIS TIME OR... I DON'T KNOW WHAT BUT SOMETHING! Well, I'm done here. 


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